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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:03:27 GMT -5
A triumphant, well-deserved hangover
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:03:37 GMT -5
"Tail as old as time / song as old as rhyme" you know the song Beauty and the Beast was originally about hookers, right
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:03:46 GMT -5
Man everybody overlooks the gift of gold, Jesus was an OG trustfunder
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:03:55 GMT -5
The island of Catan is in flames, the settling attempt was a disaster, and my idiot kid brother is a poo-poo head
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:04:08 GMT -5
True story
This song I'm writing is so sad I'm tempted to sing my actual phone number at the end just in case you wanna call and talk about it
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:04:30 GMT -5
Spoiler: The Dark Knight Rises ends with Bruce at a typewriter. The entire Nolan arc was fiction. His parents are alive and hate him
Spoiler: Batman isn't the dream of Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne is the dream of an actual bat named Vxxytrx. The other bats think he's creepy
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:04:35 GMT -5
"Horny eunuch seeks same for walkies, butt-sniffing." Grindr for dogs is so depressing
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:04:51 GMT -5
Overlooked Tweet
Why do I work out, you ask? Hmm... well I decided there were no more tomorrow's and realized that I alone could realize my own destiny too
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:05:03 GMT -5
It's easy to win a Polaris prize just give the jury a round of blowies. But don't give them HPV or you'll lose that prize
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:05:22 GMT -5
I put the phone to my ear. Silence. I realized I forgot to dial. There was no need. Satan is real.
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:05:30 GMT -5
"He'll tear you a new asshole! Not enough Persian rugs in the world to cover up your new asshole!"
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:05:38 GMT -5
Supreme Court of Canada is now in session. You have been found guilty of being an asshole. You are sentenced to an hour of snow-shovelling.
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:05:50 GMT -5
Otherkin
Why can't they understand that I'm a kitsune and a television and a mouse and [looks around room] a rug, a couch, a Wii Fit board (unopened)
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:06:04 GMT -5
I am a house and all these things in it are my internal organs
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Post by Owen from Final Fantasy on Sept 23, 2012 15:06:10 GMT -5
All the fictional characters I wish existed are boring functional ones like "I'm sworn to carry your burdens" Lydia and Erin Brockovich
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