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Post by David Werking on Jul 22, 2003 19:53:17 GMT -5
Gentlemen, I am joking, and I know myself that my jokes are not brilliant, but you know one can't take everything as a joke. I am, perhaps, jesting against the grain. Gentlemen, I am tormented by questions; answer them for me. You, for instance, want to cure men of their old habits and reform their will in accordance with science and good sense. But how do you know, not only that it is possible, but also that it is desirable, the reform man in that way? And what leads you to the conclusion that man's inclinations need reforming? In short, how do you know that such a reformation will be a benefit to man? And to go to the root of the matter, why are you so positively convinced that not to act against his real normal interests guaranteed by the conclusions of reason and arithmatic is certainly always advantageous for man and must always be a law for mankind? So far you know, that is only your supposition. It may be the law of logic, but not the law of humanity. You think, gentlemen, that perhaps I am mad? Allow me to defend myself. I agree that man is pre-eminently a creative animal, predestined to strive consciously for an object and to engage in engineering--that is, incessantly and eternally to make new roads, wherever they may lead. But the reason why he wants sometimes to go off at a tangent may just be that he is predestined to make the road, and perhaps too, that however stupid the direct "practical" man may be, the thought sometimes will occur to him that the road almost always does lead somewhere, and that the destination it leads to is less important than the process of making it, and that the chief thing is to save the well conducted child from despising engineering, and so giving way to the fatal idleness, which, as we all know, is the mother of all vices. Man likes to make roads and to create, that is a fact beyond dispute. But why has he such a passionate love for destuction and chaos also? Tell me that! But on that point I want to say a couple words myself. May it not be that he loves chaos and destruction (there can be no disputing that he does sometimes love it) because he is instinctively afraid of attaining his object and completing the edifice he is constructing? Who knows, perhaps he only loves that edifice from a distance, and is by no means in love with it at close quarters; perhaps he only loves building it and does not want to live in it, but will leave it, when completed, for the use of les animaux domestiques-such as the ants, the sheep, and so on. "
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Post by David Werking on Jul 23, 2003 0:45:22 GMT -5
So I finally finished watching Fashionistas today. (not an easy task mind you, it being 4 hours+ with a lot of people in the house. I don't quite know how I feel about it. This won how many AVN awards? Why? The scenes aren't long, Belladonna doesnt do the bead trick, and nothing here is more exciting than perhaps Buda, if you're a Leslie/Stagliono fan. I'm convinced everybody DOES hate Rocco. I think it was kind of like Gangs Of New York, them wanting to give 'im something for those long years of dedication. Gangs of New York was way more awful than Fashionistas, on a plot level. Why is there a love interest? Does everyone have to have a love interest? Hey how many people here remember that Leo DiCaprio was in Swamp Thing? In other news my roommates cracking me up. Seriously he's disturbed. I'm watching a taped copy of Conan and my housemates all: "Is that Tony Randall?" And Im all like: "No...that's Justin Timberlake."
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Post by David Werking on Jul 23, 2003 1:09:08 GMT -5
(some more funny MF and SOB transcripts) MF hands SOB a tiny particle: SOB: Big deal. It's dandruff. (four frames later) SOB: (shocked) IT'S POOPING!!!! ... SOB: Just because somebody's black, dirty, ugly, smelly, stupid, and is picking up trash and wiping it on cars doesn't mean that person is a bum. MF: You're right. They don't have to be dirty, ugly, smelly, stupid, and picking up trash and wiping it on cars doesn't mean a person is a bum. SOB: That's needlessly racist. MF: But it's always needy to be racist! SOB: Like--remember that movie where those guys threw their excrement out of dat plane and then they went all arts and craftsy on it and created like--nuclear fission, etc.? THAT'S MANIFEST DESTINY! ... SOB: I'm that Verizon guy. Is it still in? Is it still in? (humping MF) MF: Get out of my shit you gaddam &($%#%^!!! ... SOB: I hope Jon plays that crappy New Age CD today. I want to smash it. Guy must have like 4 CD's total. MF: DO YOU MIND??!!! I'm TRYING to read the NEWS!!! (newspaper reads: Elton John not gay, just flamboyant) SOB: Thats what THEY said. HA! MF: ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod look! (Muhammad apppears) MF: I'm going to make you touch it! SOB: Ewwwww!!!! POOP!!!! Stoppitt--- (MF shoves SOB closer to Muhammad who is farting chunks)
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Post by David Werking on Jul 23, 2003 1:44:53 GMT -5
(continued) MUHAMMAD: I'm an engineer/how do I turn on the hot tub?/where do you keep your underwear? i need a change. Go get it for me. Move it assholes. MUHAMMAD: I'm a lesbian. It's okay. I'm also an artist. Look. (shows portrait of himself well hung like John Holmes) SOB: That sucks man. Quit. MF: A FEMALE lesbian? MUHAMMAD (with attitude) Its HOW i FEEL. Now Im not showing you any more. SOB: To call you worthless would be a pantomime of the thing that you actually are. How can you be so comfortable with sucking the purpose out of all that's around you? MUHAMMAD (unreasonable reply) SOB: Whatevah. MF: No rats off my scabies. HOURS LATER: SOB: W.T.F.? Not even the feds would pick that thing up! MF: Cops t'aint no trashmen. SOB: Well I wanna DO STUFF. MF: We dont even have guns. They're too merciful. SOB: Lets go somewhere else. DAYS LATER SOB GETS THE MAIL: SOB: A ticket for abandonment? This time's its gone too far! MONTHS LATER MUHAMMAD DIES A BRUTAL DEATH SECONDS LATER: MF: Can't let good pussy go to waste! 9 MONTHS LATER: SOB: That was a fun hay ride! MF: I want an elephant ear! ... SOB: (singing) Papa don't squirt! MF: Don't talk to me right now. Im in a MOOD. (sips Coors) MF: You try and you try with these kids. It's like you can't break through! SOB: These are the kids in your 2nd group? MF: I say here's some math, some philosophy, some history. I can't just shove it down their throats. I have to make them want it. Learning must also be taught at home. SOB: (doubtful) Caverject doesn't work so well, eh? MF: There are 3 stages--good ones--oral, anal, and genital that they just don't get! SOB: So...such is life neckfucker. C'est la vinerial disease. Want a cookie? Maybe some penecillin? MF: (looking confuzzled) MF: Oh Im sorry. I thought you said "is it still in?"!!
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Post by David Werking on Jul 23, 2003 2:03:33 GMT -5
MF: (poopette) Hey! Guess what I did today?!! SOB: Hey! Guess if I care today?!! MF: Lookit I took the DNA from my (%&*$$&^! single tittyhauser M.D. and cloned it to my other side! M.F. Now I'm BI! (licks nipple without masky tape like Wendy O Williams) SOB: Cloning?!! On a weekday?!! Why can't you just fix the fucking air conditioner you stupid bitch?!! (SOB looking down at rapidly moving disenfranchised silicone breast, now graced with life from MF's experiments) SOB: And what the fuck &*)$$&^ is that?? MF: I call her Mini-meat. ... In the beginning, God made Eden. When Adam left, God got lonely, so he created: FATFAG ISLAND. MF: (eating a very phallic carrot) Yummy! FATFAG ISLAND was a place where the streets were made of solid fart! God in drag: Lookit im fairy poppins! Moses: oh how impudent! I'm getting stiff just thinking about those STD's. My lord you have the whole world in my ass! SOB: Homo's came from the BIBLE. They came here on the ark cos Noah thought when God said two of each kind he meant two of your own kind. MF: Duh. That's why God put up a big rainbow! Unh hunh unh hunh. He signifies Mork. God is Mork. Mindy is Jaysus. (Dallas Cowpokers ad for Say No To Espaniol) SOB: Mary is mindy you dumbass! That's why Jesus fucked her shoes! Here--DO SOME RESEARCH! (hands MF two books: Left Behind and Right Behind) AFTER 4 HOURS: MF: This book is too damn long. I'll take your word for it. SOB: oh wha--? Whatever! I was just razzin ya! Let's go watch cops beat up black people on TV. MF: YEAH! Like Austin 3: 16 boyie!!!
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Post by David Werking on Jul 24, 2003 2:15:50 GMT -5
HOT GODDAMN! *hits fist on table* I predicted that fucking Casiotone cover song!!! I must be psychic again. Come on ask me something, QUICK! Ask me anything! *chair spins*
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Post by David Werking on Jul 24, 2003 2:18:28 GMT -5
oh shite. I said Hotel hunington Sign. So close. So close.
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Post by David Werking on Jul 24, 2003 2:31:31 GMT -5
So nothing much new to post. Plus Im getting slightly snookered while I watch my 4th grades play on video. I miss America and Rodrigo"im CRAYZEEE!!!" and Carlos"is cold mr werking" and Wendy. It's not going to be the same next year, next year they get their hormones and get obnoxious. Oh kids give the best fucking hugs. They were so sweet they were "are you coming back next year?" And i told them mr werking was going back to school next year but Id come visit...and give them art lessons. And Jasmine gave me some drawings of her dinosaurs. I even think I miss Christian--christian, he of large backtalk and small patience. And now the news comes on and they're talking again about Bush giving all that money to Africa for AIDS. Heres a hint Mr. President--get the tribes to stop the ritual of the tribe chief deflowering all the virgins at 13. Then give em some money for AIDS. Really it's better that way.
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Post by man on Jul 24, 2003 2:56:32 GMT -5
i thought these posts were gonna stop... what happened?
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Post by David Werking on Jul 24, 2003 13:54:50 GMT -5
Man has suddenly lost all ability to read back posts! *large collective gasp of shock from the risers*
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Post by Stuci Firme on Jul 25, 2003 9:53:32 GMT -5
just ignore this thread if you want them to i thought these posts were gonna stop... what happened?
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Post by DavidWerking on Jul 25, 2003 21:43:44 GMT -5
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Post by David Werking on Jul 26, 2003 1:08:59 GMT -5
I've got a few things to get off my chest here, because they're very important to say and have heard and I know I'll forget them if I am wanted to leave this thread. The first is that I find it very hypocritical for anybody who calls themselves: "independant" (musically or otherwise) not to allow the same "independance" for other people. You know who you are, and I think that you're going to have to learn some very harsh lessons down the road of life. Secondly, there will always be David Werking's. I look forward to reading the next David Werking, here and anywhere else. The torch will be passed. We will be staying up all night on the trivial. Congratulations, and if you ever need a friend to talk to or a little support, I can always be reached at the email address provided. I'm really happy you're here. It's really good to have you around. You make me a better person, knowing you're out there.
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Post by David Werking on Jul 26, 2003 1:18:24 GMT -5
So we're driving and my wife asks me why I took the picture you see above. I think it looks so pretty with the clouds all around. Magic is everything. Magic is what makes you more than atoms. Its magic that we all have hearts. It's all around us and it's eventually what will save us. It's very important to remember this, when all you have is dirt in your hands.
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Post by David Werking on Jul 30, 2003 0:32:37 GMT -5
hi... I guess I should say something to the people of the new home for this thread to explain it-- this was originally a thread on the xiu xiu message board that got zapped here...
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